A lot of people don't know this part of my life which I am going to share with you. Most people just see how I am now and think it was from my mission or just growing up. Most people see me now as a workaholic, driven, and highly motivated for the things I want in life. Was it always this way? Yes and No. I have wanted to be a personal trainer for years now. Nothing would stop me from doing that. Have I always made the right choices to get here no. My first job, when I got home from my mission was Gold's Gym, doing sales. I was able to earn more than I've really ever earned. It was hard work. One of my co-workers told me something that has just stuck with me. He said "work is never done with the time says, it's done when it's time to go to bed. If you want money you have to work." This was my first step in really earning more money and working hard. The problem was I didn't realize money would change me. I soon became selfish and greedy. I thought I had all the money in the world now. It changed me. I saw I wasn't happy anymore and needed to get out. I just quit and not having a plan. I walked into a small gym and started working as a personal trainer. The problem was I had been so greedy, that I didn't save a penny and didn't have a client and only earned 7.50 every half hour session. I saw I needed another job. I got a physical therapy tech job, again paid 7.5 a hour. Well not having anything saved and now only getting 400 a month, soon became just enough to pay bills. Well it only got worse and worse. I started having dry spells with new clients and clients ending their time with me, and then the clinic only wanted interns which meant no money. One day I realized I had 80 bucks in all of my bank. That would fill up my gas tank once and pay my phone bill for the month. I didn't even want to get out of bed. scared because every step I took lost me money. I started to look for odd jobs and got money from where ever I could. Some how I made it through and found Total Health and Fitness. Now I tell you this story, because it was such a turning point in my life. I vowed to my self to never let my self get to that point. I had forgotten who I was and what was really important in life. I lost sight of what I wanted. My life was never about the money, it was just about helping people reach goals and change their lives. I had a dream the other day which taught me so much and it was very inspiring. I was somewhere looking at art and came across a drawing for a face. This painting had stages to it. Started with a full face and then each stage the face would lose something like a eye, ear, or mouth. Until the last stage only had a head and one eye. The painting was called the eye. This dream had such an impact on me that I am having a artist draw it for me. It taught me, we can look at life as things that are important to us will never be with us and more and more things just slip away from us until we have nothing. I would much rather look at it as each day I gain more. I start with such a little amount, if it be money, knowledge, or relationships with people and in the end I have way more than I could ever want or need. It does take a different way of looking at it though hence the eye. What drives me? Failure, knowing what it feels like to fail and knowing that at that point in my life the feeling of failure will always be with me for the rest of my life, and yes it is more of a haunting feeling than anything. I apologize for this being such a long entree, but this really the root of me. I am the driver of my future!
